<-- Back to OASIS/Restore Ministry Page

Can I set limits and still be a loving person?

The following questions reflect some of the confusion we may have about boundaries:

  • How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money?

  • Is it difficult to hear no from other people?

  • Aren't boundaries selfish?

  • How do boundaries relate to submission?

  • What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries?

  • Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries?

  • What are legitimate boundaries?

  • Do I tend to want to control other people when I don't get what I want?

  • Can I set limits and still be a loving person?

Which of these questions have you wondered about?

Which questions do you especially want answers for?

The goal of Boundaries is to help you use biblical boundaries appropriately so that you can experience the relationships and achieve the purposes that God intends for you as his child.

What Does Boundaries Cover?

SESSION 1

What is a Boundary?

  • A Day in a Boundaryless Life - Sherrie's Story

  • Boundaries - are a property line

  • The Functions of a Boundary - Me and Not Me

  • What does a Boundary Look Like?

  • What is Within My Boundaries - The Three Treasures

SESSION 2

Boundaries' Problems and Symptoms

  • Clinical Symptoms

  • Relational Symptoms

  • Functional Symptoms

SESSION 3

The Laws of Boundaries - Part 1

  • Law 1: Law of Sowing and Reaping

  • Law 2: The Responsibility "for" and "to" Law

  • Law 3: The Law of Power and Powerlessness

  • Law 4: The Law of Receiving Others' Boundaries

  • Law 5: The Law of Motivation

SESSION 4

The Laws of Boundaries - Part 2

  • Law 6: Law of Evaluating the Pain caused by Your Boundaries

  • Law 7: The Law of Proactive Versus Reactive Boundaries

  • Law 8: Law of Envy

  • Law 9: The Law of Activity

  • Law 10: Law of Exposure

SESSION 5

The Myths of Boundaries

  • If I set boundaries, I'm being selfish

  • Boundaries are a sign of disobedience

  • If I set limits, I'm going to lose love

  • If I set boundaries, I will hurt others

  • Boundaries mean I'm angry

  • When others set boundaries with me, it injures me

  • But they've done so much for me

  • I'm scared of burning my bridges

SESSION 6

A Course of Recovery

  • Understanding God's grace is an important aspect of the recovery process.

SESSION 7

Resistance to Boundaries

  • External Resistances:
    Anger
    Guilt
    Physical
    Pain of the Others

  • Internal Resistances:
    Unmet Needs
    Unresolved Grief
    Fear of the Unknown
    External Focus
    Guilt

SESSION 8

The Yardsticks of Boundaries

  • Measures of our progress

SESSION 9

Sherrie's Story Revisited

 

How Does Boundaries Work?

There are two parts to each Boundaries session. During the first part of the session, the group watches a videotape featuring Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend are the authors of "Boundaries - When to Say Yes, When to Say No, Take Control of Your Life."

The Boundaries videotapes are interesting to watch and feature real life examples drawn from the counseling practice of the authors.

These tapes contain valuable information about taking control of your life - God's way.

Following the video, the group participants spend time discussing what was presented on the videotape as it relates to what is going on in their lives.

 

Contact

Carolyn Nieuwenhuis at 451-4117 or mscjn@hotmail.com for more information or to register.